Wisdom

This Is Why Old People Rule: The “Adapt” Argument

As we get older, there is an idiom that keeps cropping up like a child peeking over the neighbor’s face. The more I hear it, I can’t help but cringe:

“You have to adapt.”

Ugh, gross.

Conversations between the younger crowd and I usually end up with the need to adapt in order to roll with the punches in society today. I’m not so sure if that’s how I want to “roll,” especially if it’s not for good reasons.

You will often hear the secret to longevity in the music industry is that the artist has been able to stay in the current realm of music trends. I often wonder if priority is placed on what’s hip, where does the creativity come in? Aren’t you putting constraints on the creative juices by implementing little hipster attributes in the music? Yes, it may sound groovy, but you run the risk of becoming strictly dated. For example, I wonder what would happen if any song from Ray of Light started to play at a high school homecoming dance. I’m not certain their reaction would be the same as listening to the latest Jay Z (is he still hip? I don’t even know. Too commercial for me).

The following story is true, also brilliant (I may have written about this in my blog already. If so, I apologize for being repetitive. But the story is so brilliant, I’m sharing it again):

Continue reading “This Is Why Old People Rule: The “Adapt” Argument”

Listen to the Ears of the Bears

They are sending a discreet message to the human race: Stop fucking with us. Isn’t it about time you find something else for entertainment? Don’t you have enough stores to buy shit you don’t really need? I realize you could care less about the wildlife. You don’t live their life, but do you have to be a blatant asshole about it?

I’m paraphrasing. That doesn’t mean you should not consider this message for some serious consideration.

Continue reading “Listen to the Ears of the Bears”

In Defense of Angela Lansbury

It’s all about levels, ladies.

It’s crazy what is going on in the media. It’s even crazier if you’re a middle-aged white guy television personality. It’s almost as if there’s a sociological pattern that the media clings to, in that society loves to see middle-age white men fall down the spiral of publicity doom.

So much finger pointing. So little conversation. As of right now, men are scared shitless to genuinely compliment a woman. Meanwhile, the skanks that knowingly use their sexuality to their advantage are getting away with their nonsense because they know society has their back by default. Don’t roll your eyes at what I just typed…..you know this to be true. I believe that was the message Angela Lansbury meant to imply in last week’s news. Internet outrage ensued, many from women. I can’t help but wonder, out of all the angry women, how many of them got pissy when their sexual encounters didn’t transcend them to a higher level i.e. career-wise and/or relationship during their lifetime? These women exist, and those are the skanks Ms. Lansbury is targeting. If I’m mistaken, that’s who I’m targeting.

In her day, the term “skanks” wasn’t born yet, so she relayed the message in her own crotchety way. She is a product of the “Silent Generation.” Heh. Not so silent now, are you old-fogeys?

I will never take a woman’s side just because she’s a woman. Yes, I am a woman, and yes, I am guilty of upping my game just to get attention for various reasons. I have worn my fair share of Wonderbras, red lipsticks, and slim-fitting dresses, because yes, I wanted attention. I adored the ego boost. I turn into a pile of mush when a man throws a compliment my way. There are women out there however, that take it to the next level, and when things don’t go their way, they turn vindictive. Bear in mind, we are living in a culture where no one wants to own up to responsibility for their actions. Such internet campaigns like #metoo further encourages the mindset of the skank. Meanwhile, the victims who suffered from the real crimes are buried in the depths of cyber balderdash.

There is nothing wrong with getting attention. It’s when you enter the next level of deceit, and cry fowl when things don’t go as vindictively planned…..those women deserve to be shunned. Women like Jaime Phillips.

Oh no. I feel like I’m ruining it for skanks everywhere. Hahahahahaha!!!

Please do not confuse this post as some sort support for Matt Lauer. I’ve despised him since his patronizing interview with Michael Phelps in 2009. He put Michael Phelps under unnecessary scrutiny for his bong incident, casting aside all his world-wide achievements. Hats off to Mr. Phelps for sitting through the scrutiny like a gentlemen. Good riddance, pretentious Matt Lauer. You should be so lucky to be in the presence of grandeur.

 

A Note About Your Fake Followers

The purpose of this post is to let the patrons of fictional posse know that not everyone is smitten with your prose and teachings.

Hey you, the one with hundreds of followers for your blog, Facebook, Twitter, et al:

What percentage of followers are actually human? Of that, how many of them genuinely followed your blog by selecting the “follow” button? You don’t know? Ah, shucks. That would indicate you’re in the business of desperation.

How enormously gratifying is it to pay for fake fans? How is it possible that a blog that has been around not even six months and you’ve managed to generate thousands of followers? I’m not mad, but I am genuinely curious.

Then, I read this.

And this.

And this.

I will admit, I thought about buying followers for, like, five seconds. I am irked by the thought that the greatest wisdom of the entire internet goes unnoticed. But then who am I writing for? Am I writing for me, or is it all a facade to achieve worldwide success? If it’s the latter, then it would be hard to suggest I’m writing exclusively for therapeutic purposes.

This blog exists because I like to write. And I need the creative freedom to write about anything I want, and not be tied down to a certain topic, genre, subject. It’s a potpourri of different things and people, and I am especially akin to point out wrongdoings. While I understand following a blog like this would be uninteresting, I don’t understand why a blogger, so desperate for internet fame, would resort to acquiring a fictitious fan base. How does that make you feel? How do you sleep at night? What would your ONE actual follower think of the dystopia fan base you’ve created?

I have a Twitter account that was born in 2009. Of late, I only have about 20 followers. Most of them are probably bots, though I can account that a few of those are human. Recently, I did send a tweet that was retweeted 30 times. So, the trick with internet fame is being in the right place at the right time.Of course, paying the right people to make sure you remain in the top spot in the search rankings also helps.

Old school magic, right there.

Welcome to the digital age, where you can go play pretend all over the place, and even have a fictitious group of followers. If you really have to resort to such tactics, then what you preach isn’t all that good, is it?

 

 

Open letter to Jimmy Wales, Wikipedia Founder

wiki dnate

Dear Mr. Wales:

I understand your concern. Everyone and anyone wants my hard-earned money. (It’s actually my husband’s money, but still.) I still have a little bit of money left from my previous job that I can do whatever I please with it. Your intrusive pop-up is not going to convince me otherwise.

It seems everyone wants my money. After a period of climatic misfortunes, I have donated what I have been able to afford, and it wasn’t much. There are residents of Puerto Rico that are still feeling the ramifications from their last weather anomaly. The CEO’s of Red Cross are laughing all the way to the bank along with text messages of donations. The poverty levels are at an uncomfortable superfluity. Believe it or not, there are bigger issues out there……where do you think Wikipedia ranks? [Citation needed].

In addition, I hosted Thanksgiving this year, so that means funds were spent on groceries more than usual this time of year. I don’t regret it one bit. Should I feel obligated to donate and risk going over budget because you resort to intrusive pop-up brainwashing tactics?

I have budgeted a certain amount of dollars exclusive to donations, and you are not among them. Not even a glimmer. You, along with a gazillion other organizations, are begging for money after Cyber Monday, Small Business Saturday, Black Friday, Thanksgiving, Halloween, Birthdays, hurricanes….and we haven’t even touched Christmas!

Look, I appreciate your heroics and your persistence to run the site ad free, but the pop-up asking for donations is an irony in itself. My pop-up blocker somehow missed this, but I’m not mad. There are ad stopping plugins and software being developed and getting better every day. If anything, I’d rather donate to those folks who take our internet surfing interests to heart. Besides, when you have Google in your back pocket, of course you’re going to be the top site! Whatever key word I type, the Wiki page is always first on the search. I click it because the information is right there, and I don’t always have time to investigate the subject further. I realize I have no one to blame but me, but I suspect you will remain in the top rankings for a while, even without my $3 donation.

By the way, I don’t get Tuesday morning coffee. I brew coffee at home, and my world of math tells me it costs much less than three dollars a cup. I’m not sure where you get your coffee from, but you need to find a place that won’t overcharge for burnt coffee.

I can’t afford to afford you. If Wikipedia were to go away today, let’s just say I won’t be heartbroken. I still have my encyclopedias and my local library. Since my property taxes insist on going up every year, I’m going to use the shit out of my library now more than ever.

I simply cannot donate to everyone that asks for donations, but I can budget accordingly. In my list of priorities, animals in need will always come first. In my list of aforementioned primacies, again I ask: where do you think Wikipedia ranks? [citation needed].

Yours in notes and references,

JCL – United States

 

 

 

Turkeys Before Jerkies™

©Judie Lynne

Indeed, that is a lit turkey in front of my house. I’m certain I am the only person that celebrates gratitude before a hypothetical (yes…..HYPOTHETICAL unless you can locate the exact date of birth in the Bible, and I will retract) and over-commercialized birthday.

There is no definitive proof that Jesus was born on December 25. When you are in a sudden rush for all things Christmas, you are essentially celebrating…….nothing.

The rush to Christmas is unhealthy. It bypasses the appreciation of the little things, so the focus remains on material crap. Yes, count me in as an honorary member of the BAH HUMBUG Club. I will forever advocate Turkeys Before Jerkies™.

Jerkies: the ones who follow along popular opinion when it comes to Christmas, and put up Christmas décor a day after Halloween. The ones who praise Christmas music and decor BEFORE Thanksgiving. The retail chains who lure its consumers with holiday elements, so they can finish strong at the end of their fiscal year. The ones who open their stores at fucking 2pm ON THANKSGIVING because it’s all about MONEY. Of late, the absolute worst offender is Treetime, who starts their advertising for overpriced evergreens as early as September.

(SHAME ON YOU, Treetime. I will never, EVER shop at your store, nor will I refer anyone. Your brainwashing tactics will not work on those who hold Thanksgiving AND Christmas near and dear to their hearts.)

The ugly reality is that your beloved family members will not be present every holiday. There will come a time when you have a strong desire just to hear their voice, and that voice won’t be there. Their laugh, their smile, their jokes. Gone. And they can be gone in an instant. Do NOT sit there and roll your eyes over what I just typed. You do not know what the future holds. You are NOT powerful and all knowing. You don’t know. Don’t take your family for granted. Retail chains have a hard time understanding this. Or they refuse, because money first. Fuck you retail stores. I hope you ALL go out of business.

With cachinnatory cackling and a superfluity of starches at the family gathering, just remember that it is possible that some don’t have that luxury for whatever reason (homeless, orphaned, disabled, etc.) The small things taken for granted can be gigantic for someone else.

I also notice a mass of folks rushing to hate. They tend to focus on the specific event that White Man stole the land from the Indians. Well fuck, that is downright shady. However, I don’t think it’s fair to impugn the intricate and sentimental meanings of what the holiday should dictate: gratitude. I cannot help what transpired what the Pilgrims did or didn’t do, but I do have the ability to forgive and look onward for a better, more unified future.

Cheers to you. Cheers to your family. It is, after all, what Thanksgiving is all about. Don’t take them for granted.

Ever.

These Words Speak Louder Than Actions

There is no relevant discussion when it comes to sexual harassment. While the media is busy pointing fingers, I feel it is necessary to include some talking points when it comes to such anomalies. If you are serious about curbing radical behaviors, and have a keen interest in human rights, the logical thing to do is invoke discussion. We simply cannot end the disparity of such behavior if all we’re doing is point the finger. Enough.

I’ve included some talking points from the National Sexual Violence Resource Center to help with this quest:

WHAT IS SEXUAL HARASSMENT?

In addition to physical forms of assault, forms of sexual harassment can include inappropriate statements,
lewd gestures,leering behavior, and sexually explicit jokes,
emails,or texts.These behaviors can occur anytime or any placeincludingbusinesses,
schools, workplaces or public places. People who sexually harass do so in an effort to belittle,
humiliate, and control others by using sex or sexually-explicit materials and
language to make another person feel uncomfortable and fearful. Sometimes their motive is
to have power over that person or to use the power they already have in order to coerce others
into sexual activities. Their actions, although sexual in nature, are essentially about
exerting power over another person.

COMMON FORMS OF SEXUAL HARASSMENT

In Latin, quid pro quois defined as“this for that.”In other words, the harasser implies or demands sexual
activities in exchange for a service or condition.Examples include not being hired or promoted at work,or not
getting a good grade in class unless the person submits to sexual activities.

A hostile work environment is created when the actions of those who are sexually harassing
become so pervasive that they affect an individual’s work performance or create an offensive environment.
Hostile work environment scan exist in workplaces, academic settings and the military. Examples include
sexual jokes or innuendoes,as well as displaying or viewing pornography and degrading images.

Street harassment occurs when someone directs unwanted sexually-explicit comments to others in public spaces,
such as streets, parks or mass transit. It is propelled by a sense of entitlement and disrespect,and is used to
intimidate and bully others.

Please visit NSVRC for more information.

A Different Kind of Road Rage

This is a work of fiction. This is a short story about the kind of road rage onlookers can’t witness. If this is not your thing, please move along. Otherwise, you are welcome to ride along.

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Stella has been in great need to go on an escape. There’s a lot of mush in her mind, and it needs de-cluttering. It’s been advised by her closest friends that she take a road trip. “Go anywhere,” one friend said. “Go and clear your head. It will do you some good.”

Her car is about four years old, with only about 35,000 miles. It is a prevailing vehicular device that is up to the challenge of any elected destination, she just knows she needs to go somewhere….anywhere.

Continue reading “A Different Kind of Road Rage”

Dear Management: Get Over Yourself

The demands for a change in work hours has become more palpable in recent years. Recently, an article surfaced in the local paper about this very topic (Marco Buscaglia, “Why the Rush…,” The Chicago Tribune, Section 2, November 12, 2017: page 10.) . It indicates taxing commutes as one of the reasons for a change in the hours, and I could not agree more.

In the article, Riley Thome, a workplace consultant based in New York, postulates “… he often hears millennials get credit for flexible schedules, Thome maintains that the trend was born out of an older generation, specifically people in the 40’s and 50’s who realized they couldn’t be two places at once.”

It is not a realization. That is everyday life. When all other businesses of other professions maintain the same business hours as your job, one has no choice except to take paid time off. Heaven forbid a doctor puts in an order for a MRI — good luck finding a clinic that is open evenings and Saturdays. Heaven forbid you must leave your pet at a local animal hospital for surgery; the pet has to be dropped off in the evening (and some clinics will charge an extra day for boarding). Drop-offs are not to be made in the morning because most clinics don’t open until the time you have to be at your desk.  If you have children, that is whole different ball of wax where such schedules make it more challenging.

This is not possible for every profession, of course. However, for those with exclusive desk jobs, they now have all the available digital tools that allow these employees to work from the comfort of their home.

Continue reading “Dear Management: Get Over Yourself”

The Mindset of Generations

Incase you haven’t noticed, different generations have differing perspectives. For example, if you have an opposing argument on any given topic, you will get an immediate sense how hard you must work at persuasion. Or not.
Let’s examine the generational mindsets using the overused dictum, “get off my lawn:”
The Bobby Soxers (aka “The Silent Generation”): Even if I had lawn, there’s none for you here.

Baby boomers: get off my lawn

Gen X: you must have mistaken my lawn for someone else’s.

Millennial/Gen Y: The grass is greener on the other side.

Gen Z: Welcome to my Smart Lawn.

 

And there you have it.

I must close with this: I take great offense at the disadvantaged classification given to people born from in the late 1920’s through 1945-ish. Indeed, this was a tumultuous period during World War II, but it appears to dismiss the sacrifice and turmoil that inhabited the nation. Contrary, this was also an era that gifted us with the likes of Frank Sinatra. This era was far from silent.

Despite its alleged origins, I find it peculiar these epithets suffice at the height of the digital age.