Candoodle: “Cancer Sex” Sells

Professional sports organizations need to stop hiding behind the “cancer awareness” excuse so they can make lucrative money off ticket sales and team merchandise. I have lost respect for professional sports long before anyone took a controversial and ridicoulsy over-publicized knee to make a statement. I am making a bold statement of my own. A statement that will never proliferate under the clever tactics of a PR executive, but rather from the imaginings of an everyday individual whose voice is just as relevant and just as pissed off.

Consider this as an open letter to ALL professional sports organizations to cease and desist the insipid pinkwash campaigns, or ANY campaign that claims to be raising funds for cancer. They are insulting because they are profiting off other people’s afflictions while pretending to care. They do not.

They care about levitating profit margins and great PR. After all, it’s hard to take them seriously when they adorn their cheerleaders with *bullshit pink™ poms and slutty outfits (their tiny skirts show their cooch with every high kick), tops that intentionally enhance their boobs, long flowing hair, dewey complexions and overdone makeup complimented with bold red lips. These cheerleaders, or more accurately, dancers, perform sideline routines and halftime shows with choreography designed to increase the male libido. Even more insulting is that these girls didn’t get these gigs because of genuine love for the team. They got these gigs because of the publicity, hoping whatever spotlight they steal on the field will propel them to something even more lucrative, as in the case with Paula Abdul (former Laker girl), Cheryl Burton (former Luvabull, now a newcaster) and many, many more. During the season, these dancers take advantage of the DISADVANTAGES of others for the chance of moving up in their career.

I’ve been to auditions. I’m NOT wrong.

So when a pink decorated dancer retorts with redundant excuses like “raising awareness for cancer screening,” it’s all the typical PR canned response you would expect from a huge organization. The “Raising Awareness” justification has been on repeat for the last 40 years, meanwhile the 1950’s version of cancer care is still prevalent in 2019.

Baseball doesn’t have dancers, but what they lack in strippers, they make up for in merchandise such as jerseys, where they convienantly have a very large array to choose from.

Baseball and hockey acknowledge certain milestones and occasions by wearing the applicable jersey throughout the season. For example, the Chicago Cubs come to mind, as they have worn coordinating jerseys commemorating many different occasions. Is it just a coincidence they all happen to be for sale?

Pinktober is certainly no exception. In addition to jerseys, they have a substantial selection of other items to choose from. The proceeds go to cancer organizations, where they might receive 2 cents on the dollar at the most. Pink bats, gloves, socks, hats, and other merchandise are flooding the market, going after the consumer’s conscious like prey, and they go in the kill (the almighty dollar) the moment they pull out the wallet.

I vow not to support any variaton of cancer awareness and fundraising as long as the 1950’s version of cancer care is still in use. To all those dancers, athletes, and especially Hollywood, and anyone else that insults the cancer community with the bullshit pink™ facade, please know I am giving you not one, BUT BOTH OF MY MIDDLE, FULLY EXTENDED FINGERS as my heartfelt appreciation for your “advocacy.”


Further reading:

The Harm of pinkwashing 

Pink you stink


* Bullshit pink™: The NEW NAME for ANY shade of pink that claims to symbolize representation for cancer and its patients. It’s nothing more than a questionable, unethical marketing tactic that is seen throughout the year, most noticeable in October.

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