This Is *Not* My “Rock The Vote” Face


Three years ago, I reviewed the day-long playlist of a popular, local music FM station, and Stressed Out was literally every tenth song that was played that entire day. Why does commercial radio insist on beating the shit out of what was once a beautifully crafted song, that has now succumbed to the doom of commercial radio shittiness. Fuck that song. Coincidentally, I also feel the same way about voting. The sentiment has been played……over and over… a bad, irritating, painful shit that your asshole refuses to squeeze out.

Speaking of shit, Spotify thinks I want to listen to a playlist compiled of politically related songs conducive to my region. It makes it too tempting to cancel my account and go to the competitor, but I have an awful feeling they are just as bad— no— probably worse, with the political spamming.

I am in the minority. I do not share the masses’ enthusiasm to vote on Election Day. For the last couple of years, I have been in a state of political unrest. Everywhere I go, there’s political spam. On people’s lawns, there is more signage than the grass itself. On TV, every other commercial is a shit stirring, callow jargon of who has the bigger genitalia. The publishing industry has been contaminated by ghostwriters and their bosses looking to make a buck off of the trendy mockery of the President. Right now would be an excellent time for an asteroid strike on the planet.

Yes, you should fulfill your civic duty and vote on Election Day. But I don’t believe your voice will matter. As it comes close to crunch time, in the end it will come down to who has the bigger genitalia. You are a fool if you believe otherwise. On Election Day, I envision the power hungry, ego-spazzing politicians constantly checking their campaign funds, and other type of “funding ” and whoever has the most cash (and any dirt on their opponent to be used later, if necessary) wins. That is how Chicago politics operate, so what makes you think that strategy doesn’t apply to the rest of the country?

I am aghast with the political hysteria. There’s so much “go vote! Go vote!!!!” spam taking place, you’d think there’s a monetary incentive for the perpetuators. Little do you know, the more you throw in my face, the more discouraged I become in helping with the cause.

Additionally, it’s not nice to bully people into voting, either. Whether or not they vote, that is their choice. Be a human and respect their reasoning. Find out why there’s no desire to vote by opening dialogues. You can’t be expected to be admirable if all you’ve been doing is playing the part of a condescending little bitch. Pressuring people to vote helps no one.

It’s important to note that for whatever reason you did not vote on Election Day, consider my blog as a place of sanctuary. Note: This is NOT an open invitation to the spammy blogs. You spam scumbots can go suck it, and I will be certain to block your spammy content faster than you can say top 10 secrets of blogging success! Piss off.

That said, I do not like humans, but I respect them.

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