To Those Vain, Pesky Facebook Posts

I don’t use Facebook anymore, with the exception of the occasional angsty disapproval of the human race. This week alone, I have encountered three posts in my newsfeed that suggest the removal of oneself if you don’t validate their beliefs. You know the ones:

To those who aren’t voting this election, please remove yourself from my friends list

To those Trump supporters, remove yourself immediately!

If you like cats better than dogs, you can’t be trusted. Remove yourself from my list immediately!

If you don’t like seeing photos of my (fictitious) fabulous life, fuck off and remove yourself from my friends list!

These humans have proven they can benefit from some harsh, much needed criticism, more so than the occasional “cute and cuddly cat photo.” (And I have a lot, but these folks are not worthy of such cuteness). These people do not deserve to be involved the in the day-to-day intricacies of my life. They deserve a bitchslap.

After a brief hiatus from Facebook, I returned to an immediate violated newsfeed. Fuck that. I encourage everyone to take their stance and not tolerate such alienating Facebook posts. Today’s post was the following:

Warning: the following is rated UBM (Ultra Bitch Mode) and is indicative of my disgust for the human species in 2018. I have decided to break my silence BECAUSE IT MUST BE SAID:


That request seems a bit ridiculous, doesn’t it? That is, essentially, what you are asking.

Humanity may have evolved aesthetically, but that’s as far as the evolution has gone. Due to the frivolous behaviors in recent years, I am ashamed to be associated with the human species of late. I am ashamed what humanity has become, or rather, lack thereof.

In my newsfeed, I seem to be encountering a lot of infantile requests. These infantile requests are a contaminate, specifically, the “remove yourself my friends list if you support/don’t support” posts, I read them as nothing more than a poor and embarrassing attempt to perfect YOUR version of humanity. These behaviors are callow, balkanizing, and inferior to whatever good parts are hidden beneath your very soul. I feel sorry for you.

I can see right through these passive aggressive “calls to action.” You are FISHING for the folks who are mere acquaintances or no longer interact on Facebook. It makes sense after all; to save YOURSELF the trouble of playing the guessing game of “who’s shady and who’s not” and post these ridiculous requests to purge themselves if they don’t support your beliefs. Makes YOUR job of going through 1,000 “friends” on Facebook a helluva lot easier, doesn’t it?

I HAVE complied to such requests in the past, not because we don’t share the same beliefs, but because I WILL NOT TOLERATE these passive aggressive forms of social media behavior. I don’t peruse Facebook as it is, so when I do read the newsfeed, I prefer not to be greeted with such juvenile idiosyncrasies.

Whether you realize it or not, such requests are alienating, and should the -wrong- people comply, that’s YOUR fault.

I still hold a bit of faith that the country CAN persevere through mature adult discussions, take notice of the differences in others, and shape the harmful anomalies e.g. racism, to create a harmonious global balance. If you find that cutting off communication inadvertently is easier, that’s your choice. You should be aware that humanity will NEVER evolve if we continue to cut ties based on YOUR tolerance levels and YOUR echo chambers.

My husband and I have voted Republican in the past, and will continue to do so if we find the candidate(s) be fit for office. By this admission, you have already passed judgement in that we are the most vile cretins to walk this earth, especially if we barely interact. Contrary, your judgement is a far, FAR cry to those that know us best.

Does my political affiliation bother you that much? GOODTHEFUCKBYE. I AM WAY BEYOND CARING what anyone thinks of my characteristics. And I mean that with every fiber of my being. EVERY.ONE.

Given the petty attributes of humans, by now I have most likely pissed you off. Note, however, that I still have the love and comfort from my husband, my blood family, and my fur babies. If you decide to remove me, that is indeed your choice, but I hope you put some heavy thought as to what it really says about YOU, your characteristics, and humanity in general.

I have no idea how people will perceive this wisdom. The only thing I am certain of is that I am tired of being bullied in this fashion, which have caused me to no longer care about hurt feelings. Life, as they know it, will continue. They will adapt somehow, as I have.

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