Outside the Lines

Sometimes I wonder why people go out of their way to be complete idiots. A large part of me says they simply don’t care. Given our narcissistic state our society is in, I tend to believe this is true. In a world filled with selfies and rude drivers, I will sometimes channel my inner bitch (some might argue that this attribute is really an outie…..I say, even better) and express my sentiments accordingly.

When it comes to parking, I bypass any potential for confrontation by avoiding street parking altogether. If there is an option for a parking lot, I will find a space with an inanimate object on one side so I only have to deal with one idiot who can potentially ding my car door when they open theirs out of carelessness. If such a space is a mile away, that’s okay, I can walk it. Even in the rain, I am willing to park a mile away from the store entrance. I don’t melt in the rain and the exercise will be good for me.

Unfortunately, I did not have that option one morning at a local IHOP:


The car on stage right is my vehicle. The license plate is pixelated because I parked (close to) proper. The van on stage left is not my car. Their license plate is not pixelated because they deserve to be publicly shamed.

My memories of a wonderful breakfast with the family quickly diminished when I saw this. Naturally, a photo was taken. Then, I lit a cigarette, and casually smoked it while hoping the owner of this vehicle would make an appearance. My intent was comment enough to the driver about his horrible parking discretion. My wish came true when he came out, I made a comment to him. He said nothing.

Of course, as he was driving away, he mastered enough bravery to give me the finger. As he was driving away. The finger. That’ll teach me to verbally address his idiocy.

In certain scenarios, I am all for going outside the lines. Metaphorically speaking, you should go outside the lines as much as possible. When your quest for the ultimate rebellion starts to infringe on other people spaces, you’re not being a revolutionary genius…..you’re just a complete jerk.

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